How to Improve Your Sex Life: 7 Tips by Doctors

Updated 17 February 2022

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Reviewed by Anna Klepchukova, Flo chief medical officer, UK

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Looking for tips to spice up your sex life? The team of Flo, professionals in physiology and psychology, have come up with a list of stuff for you and your partner to try. Enjoy!

How to increase your libido

Most studies show that your sex drive peaks around ovulation, the biological time when you are most able to become pregnant.

But that’s not always the case. Other factors of life can also influence libido, especially things like stress and having a busy schedule.

For example, having stress at work may decrease interest in sex, but while on vacation, your libido may rebound.

Single women tend to have greater spikes in sexual interest around ovulation than women in long-term relationships.

Learn how to talk about sex with your partner

Talking about sex in a new relationship can be difficult to start for years because you may feel shy or afraid to offend your partner's privacy. However, if sex isn’t satisfying for you, communication with your partner will help.

A frank, heart-to-heart talking about sex with the partner will encourage you both to open up and share your feelings.

For this conversation to be effective and not a source of argument, you shouldn’t moralize or reproach your partner. Gently explain what you want, not what your partner does wrong.

Choose the right time for this conversation. It can be at breakfast, in the bathroom, or in bed. The main thing is that both of you are in no hurry and in a good mood to talk about sex and health.

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Try aphrodisiac foods

Food and sex are two basic human needs. It's no surprise that people like to combine these two for added pleasure.

An aphrodisiac is any product that stimulates and increases libido. Chocolate, oysters, avocado, red pepper, ginseng, honey, strawberries, and nuts are considered the best aphrodisiac foods. 

However, according to recent studies, only ginseng has been proven effective in combating sexual problems in men.

All other aphrodisiac foods for women and men contain either substances that improve mood (chocolate and chili peppers), vitamins (honey — vitamin B, avocado — vitamin E, strawberries — vitamin C) and minerals (oysters and nuts contain zinc) that are good for the body.

Do some kegel exercises

Kegel exercises were designed for strengthening the pelvic muscles. Women have noticed that sensation during sexual intercourse became more intense after doing Kegel exercises.

These exercises can positively impact intimacy and sexual pleasure for both partners. 

Women’s strong muscles contribute to a more intense orgasm. Men’s sensations are enhanced by a tight compression of the penis in the vagina due to its acquired elasticity.

In order to fully explore the benefits of Kegel exercises, stop your urine stream as it is flowing by contracting the muscles of the pelvic floor. It is enough to contract and relax those muscles for a set of 10 reps 3 times a day. 

You can do the exercise at any time — at the workplace, while driving, or lying on the couch with a book.

Try some “dirty talk”

The sexiest organ in our body is the brain, and it is where sexual desire originates. This is why “dirty talk” or talking about sex in a coarse or obscene way is so arousing.

Attraction starts in a part of the brain called the hypothalamus, which is responsible for the production of testosterone. The amygdala controls fear. 

Your reaction to dirty words or the very subject of the talk depends on these two regions of the brain, but it's different in men and women.

Why do men like dirty talk? A man’s hypothalamus is bigger and therefore, they’re more sexually active and their libido is higher. 

The amygdala, which allows one to loosen up and reveal secret desires, is activated in the partner and makes them inclined to submission.

Get risky

Researchers assert that participation with a partner in high adrenaline activities (watching a thriller, riding a roller coaster, climbing, etc.) produces hormones that cause arousal. 

During stressful situations, adrenaline is released into the blood. Thereafter, the brain produces dopamine — a pleasure hormone that rewards the body for overcoming stress. 

After sexual activity, the affection given to your partner will certainly intensify.

If you are not a thrill-seeker, exercise with your partner. The effect will be similar.

Talk afterwards

Talking to your partner after sex can improve your relationship.

Discussing your fantasies or things you enjoy can benefit your relationship and love life.

If you can engage in frank personal pillow talk for couples, you will see positive effects.

All the tips for healthy sex life are quite simple. Be open, honest to your partner, and don’t hesitate to experiment! Together you’ll find the key to the best sex of your life. If you struggle, though, consider going to a therapist together.

History of updates

Current version (17 February 2022)

Reviewed by Anna Klepchukova, Flo chief medical officer, UK

Published (05 October 2018)