Thinking About Sex Is Normal!

So you’re now a teenager, and you’ve noticed that you’re thinking about things you’ve never thought about before. Maybe one of your classmates suddenly seems attractive to you. Maybe you just can’t stop thinking about a celebrity. Or perhaps your next-door neighbor — the one you’ve known all your life — is suddenly the focus of your attention.

It’s normal to feel somewhat confused and worried about these new thoughts. Puberty and adolescence bring a lot of changes into your life, and they mark the beginning of your transition into adulthood. That’s enough to make anyone nervous! However, it’s important to keep in mind that thinking about sex is perfectly normal; there’s nothing to be ashamed about.

How hormones affect your life

Hormones are substances that your body produces to kickstart certain processes that make your body work properly. Our bodies produce many different hormones from the moment we are born. But once we reach puberty, our bodies start producing hormones that we didn’t need before.

It all starts in your brain. There, a hormone called gonadotropin-releasing hormone, or GnRH, is produced. This hormone travels to your pituitary gland, which is located right below your brain, where it causes the release of two different hormones: luteinizing hormone (LH) and follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH). Both boys and girls have LH and FSH, but they affect each of them differently.

In the female body, FSH and LH stimulate the ovaries into producing estrogen. This hormone is the one that causes changes to your body during puberty. These changes prepare the body for pregnancy, and they eventually lead to the first period.

In the male body, FSH and LH trigger the production of testosterone. This happens inside the testicles, where sperm cells are also produced. Sperm cells are necessary for male fertility.

This increase in hormones mainly affects your sexual organs, but many other things change during puberty. You’ll grow taller, the rest of your body will also change, you might experience acne, and your thoughts might start turning more to sex. Going through puberty doesn’t mean you’re an adult already, but these changes are normal and signal the beginning of your journey into adulthood.

Why do people think about sex?

Have you ever wondered why you think about sex more often? Thinking about sex is completely normal. As you and your peers enter adolescence, it’s normal to feel curious about other people’s bodies and to wonder what sex feels like.

During puberty, you’re experiencing new physical and emotional sensations. Thoughts about sex are very personal and can vary from one person to the next. The same principle applies to sex drive, which can be low for some people and high for others, and this is normal. You could experience sex dreams, or you could have daydreams or fantasies about sex.

Masturbation is also common and completely normal. It’s a way for you to learn how your body works, and it’s natural to want to achieve sexual pleasure through it. So if you feel like all you think about is sex, know that you’re not alone and that there’s nothing wrong with you!

How to stop thinking about sex if you want to

It’s not possible to stop thinking about sex completely, and there’s no real reason to do so. But if you find that thoughts about sex are distracting you from your daily activities, there are certain things you can try. Here are some tips that can help you stop thinking about sex all the time:

• Try to focus on physical or artistic activities. These sorts of activities usually require a lot of concentration, so try to pick up a hobby that involves arts or sports as a way to keep your mind off sex.
• Understand what triggers you. Is there a pattern when it comes to your sex thoughts? Do they always come when you’re bored or at a certain time of the day? Identify what triggers these thoughts. If you always think about sex at a certain time or when you have nothing else to do, try to stay busy to keep your mind from going there.
• Keep yourself occupied. When your brain doesn’t have a clear focus, it will try to find something entertaining to think about. And, of course, thinking about sex is at the top of that list! So try to have other things to do to fill your mind.
• Remember that it’s okay to think about sex. At the end of the day, it’s highly unlikely that you’ll be able to prevent any and all thoughts about sex. And that’s okay!

What does science say?

You might be worried if you feel like you’re always thinking about sex, but science has shown that focusing too much on how not to think about sex can also be harmful. Scientific studies have shown that teens who worry excessively about sexual thoughts tend to report lower levels of well-being when compared to teens who didn’t share these concerns.

So even if it seems like all you think about is sex, know that this is a normal part of development. However, you should keep in mind that thinking about sex and actually having sex are completely different things. You might be physically ready to have sex a long time before you’re emotionally prepared for it. If you ever feel pressured to have sex before you’re ready, find someone, preferably an adult you trust, to discuss the situation.

Sex is a normal part of human life, and it even has many health benefits. Remember that only having sex when you decide you’re ready will improve your sex life in the long term. But for now, stop worrying about how to stop thinking about sex. It’s totally normal!

Content created in association with UNFPA, the United Nations sexual and reproductive health agency.