Key takeaways
- The first time you have sex, it might feel awkward, nerve-racking, or physically uncomfortable, but it shouldn’t be too painful.
- You might feel discomfort and possibly bleed a little because your hymen might tear a bit. Not everyone experiences this, though.
- There are plenty of things you can do to make your first time as enjoyable as possible. Remember: sex should be fun and pleasurable, not painful!
Does it hurt the first time you have sex?
You might have heard that first-time sex is painful or uncomfortable but not be sure why. Well, it may come down to a few different factors. If you feel a little bit nervous before you have sex, then your body may tense up, making penetration more difficult and uncomfortable. One thing you might be worried about is that your partner’s penis may be too big or that it will hurt you. While this can sound daunting, try not to worry. This is possible, but it’s very rare.
Similarly, you might have heard the term “popping your cherry” in relation to bleeding and discomfort during sex but not be sure what that means. Prepare for a bit of a biology lesson. The hymen is a thin, ring-like membrane that can partially or fully cover the entrance of the vagina. Like other parts of your body, no two hymens are alike — they can vary in size, thickness, and elasticity. When the hymen is penetrated, it can stretch and tear, which can lead to a small amount of bleeding and discomfort. This isn’t the same for everyone, though — your hymen may stretch or tear, and you may not notice at all.
Sex isn’t the only reason why your hymen might stretch. Other reasons include:
- Using tampons or a menstrual cup
- Having a pelvic exam or Pap smear
- Doing activities like swimming, cycling, playing football, and horse riding
- Masturbating
What about experiencing pain after sex?
Typically, people may experience pain during sex very temporarily. This can be uncomfortable and scary, so if you’re worried at any point, speak to your health care provider. They’ll be able to guide you on the best next step.