First Sex after Delivery: 5 Things You Should Be Ready For

Updated 14 February 2022

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Medically reviewed by Dr. Anna Targonskaya, Obstetrician and gynecologist

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Once you’ve given birth, sex may be the last thing on your mind. Being aware of these five truths will help you get sooner in the bedroom after delivery.

Resuming sex postpartum: points to be aware of

1. Sex won’t feel the same. It’s normal.

The first sex after delivery can be a little tougher for some and a lot easier for others both psychological and otherwise.

Depending on how it is for you and despite the possibility that sex might not feel the same again, you just have to know that sex is a major and important aspect in your relationship and so you have to get ready for it mentally.

Know also that it is normal for sex not to feel the same after your first delivery. After all, your body has recently experienced great changes. Talk to your partner and discuss all your concerns.

2. Your body knows best when it’s ready. Be patient.

Having sex after normal delivery could turn out to be a bugging thought for you as a woman and you will definitely wonder when to have sex after delivery. Well you have to be patient as your body knows when it is ready.

The vagina begins to heal after giving birth due to its resilient nature, even if it has endured cuts and lacerations during delivery. There is a high risk of having complications after delivery within the first weeks. Your doctor might instruct that you allow your body 4-6 weeks to heal.

3. The first post-birth intercourse won't be definitely painful but chances are high.

Painful sex after delivery is real. After delivery, changes in hormonal levels due to breastfeeding might cause your vagina to dry up, leaving it tender and easy to hurt during sex.

For the ease and comfort, you might be advised by your doctor to use lubricants or to seek a different method of having sexual intercourse that doesn’t have to involve the vagina.

Oral sex and massage can become your good friends in the postpartum. Oral sex after delivery is totally safe and the best alternative in case your partner doesn’t get satisfied by massage and doesn’t want to engage in masturbation.

4. Psychological readiness is just as important as physical.

This is another issue you should be ready for. The possibility of not being mentally ready for sex after having a baby is high as you will have a lot of things to think about. Breastfeeding the new baby, taking care of your baby’s clothing and other stuff.

You might also feel that the sex will hurt due to your ‘just delivered status’. Talk to your partner to allow intimacy in other ways until you are ready to handle sex psychologically.

Also, be on the alert for postpartum depression. Visit your doctor who will advise you on what to do once you start noticing signs of anxiety or depression which might include loss of appetite, severe mood swings, fatigue that overwhelms you and so on.

5. Birth control for sex after delivery is the thing to care about.

Although breastfeeding might offer a certain level of protection against pregnancy, it varies for different persons. Using contraceptives immediately after delivery is not totally bad. Your doctor might suggest that you use such contraceptives as implants, a copper intrauterine device or certain progestin-only contraceptives.

Research has discovered that combined birth control pills can pose a dangerous risk of blood clots immediately after delivery. It is very important to talk to your doctor about birth control pills and devices before going through with it.

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5 tips to try for great postpartum sex

• Take your time. Don’t rush it: A lot of people make the mistake of rushing into sex immediately they are through with delivery but most doctor advice that you take your time as it helps your healing vagina to escape more tears and it tends to make for a sex great.


• Take a bubble bath with your partner. This will make you get to know your partner again and even better this time. It’s not that easy to find time to relax between taking care of the baby’s needs and your needs. However, whenever your baby is asleep is a great time to sneak off with your partner into that bathroom for a nice bubble bath. You will find out that this puts you in the mood for a sexual encounter.


• Be spontaneous during partner time. Sex is great when spontaneity is incorporated and it isn’t just meant for your bedroom, nighttime or your bathroom. Go ahead. Brew it in the sitting room while a very great movie is being watched or even in the kitchen. 


• Plan for birth control. Just like we mentioned earlier, it would be a great idea to seek your doctor’s help when the issue of birth control pills and contraceptives arises. He or she is in the best position to tell you what pills and what type of birth control your body can handle. Don’t forget having the fact that you are on a birth control pill at the back of your mind relaxes your nerves and makes you have a great sex with your partner.


• Invest in some lube. It will be particularly useful after delivery because the vagina tends to be dry during this period and having sex in this condition might cause two or more tears to drop. So, making lubricants a part of your sex life after delivery might save you a few drops of tears.

Common questions on first sex postpartum

Here is the list of the common questions about first sex that concern many Flo users.

What was sex like for moms after they had their babies?

Sex for moms after delivery might just have been different from sex before they had their babies and also different for the different moms. A lot of them experience postpartum libido loss and as a result of that had low sex drive. 

How soon can you have sex after pregnancy?

A lot of women ask ‘When can I have sex after birth?’ but the truth it varies for different persons. This question is best answered by your doctor or your care provider as he or she knows the state of your body and how fast your body heals after delivery.

But most doctors advice generally to allow your body to heal while some others advice a space of 4-6 weeks. This actually means that you should let your vagina heal and be ready to handle sex without being hurt any further.

Can I have sex 2 weeks after giving birth?

According to some doctors, you are allowed to have sex 4-6 weeks later but more advisable to allow your body to get ready for sex in case ends up getting you pregnant again.

Is it true that after delivery vagina becomes loose?

Yeah, it does. You just pushed a baby through it anyway but since it is elastic, it tends to go back to normal naturally and for some through pelvic floor exercises.

Afterword

We hope we’ve been of help to you and have addressed all your concerns. Keep it in mind once you’ve given birth, your periods will start in a couple of weeks, unless you’re breastfeeding. 

Start tracking your cycle with Flo. It requires little input and offers insights about your period and ovulation cycle.   

History of updates

Current version (14 February 2022)

Medically reviewed by Dr. Anna Targonskaya, Obstetrician and gynecologist

Published (26 October 2018)