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    How to Orgasm Together: 5 Tips for Simultaneous Orgasm

    Updated 14 January 2021 |
    Published 11 November 2019
    Fact Checked
    Reviewed by Tanya Tantry, MD, Obstetrician & Gynecologist, Medical Consultant at Flo
    Flo Fact-Checking Standards

    Every piece of content at Flo Health adheres to the highest editorial standards for language, style, and medical accuracy. To learn what we do to deliver the best health and lifestyle insights to you, check out our content review principles.

    Seen by some as a highly coveted experience, the act of achieving a simultaneous orgasm with your partner doesn’t have to be mysterious. While it might be at the top of your list of most desired sexual experiences, it is just one potential part of an overall satisfying sexual relationship.

    Is it possible to orgasm at the same time?

    Although many consider it an uncommon event, given that some people take longer to orgasm than others, having a simultaneous orgasm is still achievable.

    Everyone goes through the “sexual-response cycle,” a four-phase cycle that consists of excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. While both partners go through the same cycle, reaching orgasm at the exact same time can be a challenge, particularly for heterosexual couples. This is because women typically take up to 15 minutes longer to climax than men.

    Women can also have a more difficult time achieving orgasm than men. About one in three women has difficulty climaxing at all. This might be because they need clitoral stimulation to climax. The clitoris is a very small and specific area above the vaginal opening, and it may not be stimulated during intercourse. The vast majority of female orgasms occur because of clitoral stimulation.

    Another reason some women have trouble orgasming may be because they need to know more about what turns them on to the point of climax. Taking a sex-positive view and learning more about how your body works can help with this.

    Before focusing on having simultaneous orgasms, try first learning what turns you on by masturbating. Experiment with clitoral stimulation during sex to see if that helps you climax easier or sooner. Because having a synchronized orgasm often requires one person to slow down their climax to match the timing of their partner’s, it can be helpful to know what your body needs to speed up or slow down climax.

    Benefits of orgasming together

    Orgasming together can be a rewarding and enjoyable experience for both you and your partner.

    Achieving an orgasm at the same time as your partner depends partly on feeling comfortable communicating clearly how you’re feeling during sex. You need to be able to talk to your partner about what feels good, what turns you on, what to keep doing, and what to stop doing. 

    Having an orgasm at the same time as your partner might also require you to put your partner’s needs before your own, holding off on your own climax until they can reach theirs. Or your partner may need to hold off for you. You and your partner both need to know what turns you on and how to achieve an orgasm individually before you can work on sharing an orgasm together.

    A couple orgasming together

    Orgasms and pleasure

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