How old is too old to have a baby? This and other fertility questions answered

If you’ve waited until a bit later in life to think about getting pregnant — or if circumstances beyond your control haven’t made it possible yet — you’re certainly not the only one. Many people now enter parenthood (and have healthy babies) well into their 30s and beyond. In fact, 20% of women in the United States now have their first child after the age of 35. Despite this, the question “How old is too old to have a baby?” continues to spark debate.

There are lots of reasons why you might find yourself trying for a baby a little later on. Some people want to prioritize education, career, or life experiences. Others may decide to wait because of finances or the cost of childcare. And, of course, finding the right partner to have children with isn’t always straightforward. So, some people wait for the right person to come along, while others explore options for having a baby on their own.

You might have heard that it can be more difficult to get pregnant as you age, and it’s true that your fertility gradually starts to decline from your mid-to-late 30s. But there’s lots more to it, so keep reading if you have questions about your chance of conceiving as you get older. Here, Dr. Jenna Beckham, obstetrician and gynecologist, US, gives us the lowdown on the best time to start (or grow) your family and why there’s no right time to have a baby.

As always, if you have questions or concerns about having a baby or any other health issue, reach out to your doctor for more personalized advice. 

Key takeaways: How old is too old to have a baby?

• The best time to get pregnant if we’re talking biology is in your 20s, when you have plenty of good-quality eggs. But that’s not always the right time personally.
• In theory, you can get pregnant by having sex right up until you reach menopause, which is your last ever period. 
• Your transition to menopause is called perimenopause, which is when menstrual cycles become less frequent and more irregular. During perimenopause, it’s still possible to get pregnant, though it can be harder and take longer. Perimenopause lasts several years and usually starts in your mid-40s, but it can begin anywhere from your late 30s to your 50s.
• More babies than ever before are born to older moms these days, and a healthy pregnancy in your late 30s and 40s is still possible.
• See your doctor if you’re over 35 and haven’t conceived after six months of regular, unprotected sex — or sooner if you’re over 40.
• The Flo app allows you to track your cycles and symptoms, helping you to learn more about your body’s fertility signals when you’re trying to get pregnant.

How does aging affect fertility and pregnancy?

The world loves a “ticking biological clock” reference, which is why we’re often led to believe that 40 is the cutoff age for getting pregnant. And while, of course, as you get closer to menopause, it can be harder to conceive, not everyone finds that to be the case. 

The best age to have a baby is different for everyone, as your circumstances are unique to you. “There is no set upper limit of being ‘too old’ to have a baby,” says Dr. Beckham. What is true, though, is that your age is closely linked to your fertility, which means your chance of getting pregnant does get lower as the years go on. There are several factors at play in addition to how old you are, including your health, your family history, your lifestyle, and how close you are to menopause (which happens at a different time for everyone).

Remember that you’re born with all the eggs you’ll ever have inside your ovaries. Starting in puberty, as part of your menstrual cycle, you release one egg each month (called ovulation), which allows you to get pregnant. But before one is released, a whole bunch of eggs start growing in a bid to mature the fastest, which means we actually lose lots of eggs every month. In fact, women tend to lose around 1,000 eggs per ovulation cycle. 

That’s why — as far as your body is concerned — the prime years for pregnancy are during your 20s when you have the highest number of high-quality eggs. But not everyone feels ready to be a parent at that point. 

By the time you hit 35, your egg reserve is smaller. Plus, the eggs you have left may not be as healthy, which is why conceiving can take longer over time. Women are also more likely to have a miscarriage or a stillbirth after 35. Although this sounds worrying, it’s important to note that a healthy pregnancy after 35 is still very possible. 

By your 40s, it can be harder to get pregnant in your fertile window. As you enter perimenopause, your periods will become less regular because your ovaries are gradually preparing to stop releasing eggs. Perimenopause is your transition through menopause, covering the years leading up to menopause and the 12 months after, at which point you can be sure you’ve had your final period. Menopause most commonly happens between the ages of 45 and 55.

By the time you reach 45, most women are unlikely to get pregnant without medical help. However, you may be able to consider options for fertility treatment using previously frozen eggs or donor eggs, so talk through your options with a fertility specialist if you want to have a baby at this time. And don’t lose hope: The oldest mom on record gave birth to twins using IVF and the help of a donor egg at 74 years old. 

If you’re worried that it might be too late to get pregnant, try to consider the positives: More babies than ever before are being born to older moms, so a healthy pregnancy is still possible. And age isn’t the only factor that counts when it comes to trying for a baby.

If you’re trying to conceive, using an app like Flo may be useful. Tracking your periods and symptoms can help you keep on top of your cycle and learn your body’s signs of ovulation. You can also talk to others who are going through similar things in our safe community space, Secret Chats.

If you’ve been trying for a while without getting pregnant, the best thing to do is seek medical care. Schedule a checkup after six months of trying to conceive if you’re over the age of 35. If you’re 40 or over and want to try for a baby, it’s best to see a medical professional right away. They’ll be able to suggest some tests for you and your partner if needed and can help you think about next steps. Be kind to yourself if you’re finding it difficult to get pregnant. Your feelings are valid, so try talking them through — it can really help to lean on those around you for support.

Possible risks of pregnancy as you age

You may have heard that your risk of pregnancy complications goes up with age, and that‘s something you’ll be talked through if you get pregnant from your mid-30s onward. Doctors might use the term advanced maternal age (AMA), which is given when you’re “35 years [or older] at the estimated date of delivery,” explains Dr. Beckham. “However, there is not a universal definition.” Previously, this was called a “geriatric pregnancy,” but that’s now seen as an outdated term.

Pregnancies in AMA parents also come with increased health risks to mothers, which happens because our chance of having health problems rises in general as we get older. You might be monitored more closely for miscarriage, premature birth, high blood pressure, and gestational diabetes. Written down, all that can sound scary, but it’s important to remember that these are just increased risks — not guarantees of problems.

Other possible pregnancy complications can happen due to our decreasing egg quality as we age. Remember, we’re born with all of the eggs we’ll ever have, and they age along with the rest of our bodies. “Pregnancy loss/miscarriage does increase with increasing age,” explains Dr. Beckham. “These losses are thought to be mostly related to a decline in [egg] quality, which results in chromosomally abnormal pregnancies.” For the same reason, the risk of your baby having chromosomal conditions like Down syndrome also increases when you have a baby beyond your mid-30s.

Again, try to remember that having an increased risk does not mean it’s guaranteed to happen. Your doctor may keep a closer eye on you during pregnancy, but most healthy women who give birth in their 30s and 40s have healthy babies. If you have any worries about your pregnancy journey, make sure you share them with your health care team.

What can you do if you want to get pregnant and are concerned about your age?

If you want to get pregnant but you’re worried that it might be too late, talk to your doctor about your fertility and pregnancy options. Whatever your age, there are steps you can take to make sure you’re as healthy as possible to boost your chances of conception. 

• Track your cycle: Timing is everything when you’re trying to conceive. You can use a period tracking app like Flo to log your cycle symptoms, and it’ll then teach you how to read your body’s fertility signs so you can figure out when you’re most likely to get pregnant.
   
• Chat with a doctor: The best thing you can do if you’re trying to conceive in your late 30s or 40s is to speak to your doctor. “A pre-conception visit with your provider is always a good idea, but especially for older patients who may want to discuss risks of pregnancy and/or chances of spontaneous conception,” says Dr. Beckham. 
   
• Make healthy lifestyle choices: Taking care of your health is important at any age. But making healthy lifestyle choices can also do a lot to improve your chances of conception. “Optimize your general health with healthy weight, diet, and exercise,” says Dr. Beckham, adding: “Be sure any medical problems you have are optimally controlled or managed.” Remember that a healthy weight looks different on different people, so chat with your doctor before making any major changes to your diet.

• Start taking supplements: All expectant moms are advised to take folic acid before becoming pregnant and during pregnancy, as it can help your baby’s brain and spine develop normally. Keeping your iron, calcium, vitamin D, choline, omega-3 fatty acids, B vitamins, and vitamin C stores in good supply is also important, so follow a balanced diet and take any prenatal vitamins recommended by your medical team.
   
• Know when it might be time to see a fertility specialist: If you’re over 40, it’s worth having a fertility evaluation as soon as you decide you want to try for a baby. People aged 35 and older are advised to have one after six months of trying. There may be options for fertility treatment if it comes to it, and your doctor will be there to walk you through them. “Ultimately, the decision to seek treatment for fertility is up to each individual patient,” says Dr. Beckham, describing some of the fertility options available:
  • The use of fertility drugs (ovarian stimulation) can help stimulate egg production and ovulation.
  • Ovarian stimulation with intrauterine insemination (IUI) is when sperm is put directly in the uterus.
  • Ovarian stimulation with in vitro fertilization (IVF) is when an egg is fertilized with sperm outside of the body, and the resulting embryo is later transferred into the uterus. “With IVF, some additional options are using donor eggs and/or donor sperm,” says Dr. Beckham. 

What questions should you ask your doctor if you’re concerned about fertility and aging?

Many women in their 30s and 40s have healthy pregnancies and healthy babies, so try to keep that in mind. If you want to have a baby but you’re worried about your fertility in relation to your age, talk to your doctor. It might take a little longer, but as long as your ovaries can produce an egg, there’s a chance of getting pregnant. 

It may help to ask your doctor questions like:

• Do I have any preexisting conditions that might affect my getting pregnant or having a healthy pregnancy?
• What kind of prenatal testing would you suggest if I get pregnant?
• If all our test results come back normal, is it possible we may still need fertility treatment?
• Are there any lifestyle changes I could make to improve my fertility?
• Are there any vitamins or supplements I can take to increase my chances of pregnancy?
• Is there a specific diet you recommend for fertility?
• What are the treatment options for infertility?
• How does assisted reproductive technology work?
• What is the success rate of fertility treatments?
• How long do fertility treatments take to work?
• If I don’t get treatment now, will my egg reserve decrease?